LOVE? LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE. IS IT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU HOPED FOR? OR DOES THE FEELING HAUNT YOU? I KNOW THE FEELING HAUNT YOU.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
This is the time of year when you may be starting to notice people and people are probably starting to notice you.
Love is magical, exhilarating and in university, it is everywhere. Don’t they say that you are probably sitting in the same room as the person that you will marry on your first day?
But for some of us, love is forbidden and whilst Romeo and Juliet make that seem exciting, that stops being true when it becomes your reality – it is in many ways my reality. Something I only realised last year when I fell in love with somebody that was unacceptable to my parents.
I was crushed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have lived in New Zealand for coming up to 17 years.
My parents are the best human beings on this planet and have sacrificed mountains for my siblings and me. I love them with all my heart. They are also Asian, conservative and religious.
For years I was too, so of course, I assumed I would marry someone that they would approve of and that this part of my life would be easy. I could not have been more wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
You see, I grew up and changed.
You see, I fell in love with an amazing person that did not match the <1% of the population that my parents would approve of.
You see, I was faced with a heartwrenching choice, my happiness or my parents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As is the irony of life, the decision was made for this person and me, and I parted ways.
But now the reality of my choices haunts me, always at the back of my mind.
When I meet someone new, I think a million times, are they worth my mother’s broken heart?
When someone asks me out, I think a million times, are they worth my father’s disappointment?
When I am about to fall for someone, I think a million times, are they worth the ostracisation from my community?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The truth is I might have ended it with the person I met last year regardless of our circumstances, why?
Because of the reality, the complication that is my parents and community.
How could I ask someone I love to enter a household where they are not accepted?
Where the culture is so different? Where a foreign language they won’t understand is spoken almost constantly?
Even if they were willing, how could I ask them to deal with all of this, to fight so hard for me when it could be simple with someone else.
I don’t know if I can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I wish it was easy.
I wish I had parents who I could bring anyone home to knowing they would love and accept them.
I wish I didn’t have to fight so hard. Isn’t love hard enough without all of this?
But that is not my reality, so now I am left as I am often am as a child of an immigrant, lost.
Too eastern for the west.
Too western for the east.
In limbo – not quite anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I shared this story because it is not just my story. It is the echoes of so many of us that have to choose between being ourselves and conforming in a world that tells us we are wrong.
The wrong gender.<\/em>
The wrong sexuality.<\/em>
The wrong race.<\/em>
The wrong religion.<\/em>
But you know what I have realised, literally as I type these words?
Those that love us will come around, what is meant to be will be and ultimately, in the words of Mulan, our duty is to our hearts.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n
Too Asian for the West and too Western for Asia from Failure was written by Y.M. from University Confessions. Mental health has always been a problem with the student demographic, which shouldn’t be ignored. Together with University Confessions, we hope to make a positive difference.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
LOVE? LET’S TALK ABOUT LOVE. IS IT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU HOPED FOR? OR DOES THE FEELING HAUNT YOU? I KNOW THE FEELING HAUNT YOU. “Love? Let’s talk about love. Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or does the feeling haunt you? I know the feeling haunt you.” – All the Stars Love […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":4506,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","spay_email":""},"categories":[136],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.niesh.co.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Couple-Kissing-on-nose.jpg?fit=1920%2C800&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4432,"url":"https:\/\/www.niesh.co.nz\/blog\/health-lifestyle\/how-to-deal-with-burnout\/","url_meta":{"origin":4505,"position":0},"title":"How to Deal with Burnout","date":"October 17, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIS THIS ALL WORTH IT; FEELING LIKE A ZOMBIE FROM THE WALKING DEAD?\u201d WHILE CHUGGING BACK ANOTHER CAN OF V. It\u2019s that time of the semester again. General library gets pretty packed. Finding a computer to use on any level in Kate Edgar is near impossible. Money seems to mysteriously\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Health & Lifestyle"","img":{"alt_text":"Man sitting on couch stressed","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.niesh.co.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Man-sitting-on-couch-stressed.jpg?fit=1200%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4441,"url":"https:\/\/www.niesh.co.nz\/blog\/health-lifestyle\/four-lies-we-tell-ourselves-in-heartbreak\/","url_meta":{"origin":4505,"position":1},"title":"Four Lies We Tell Ourselves in Heartbreak","date":"September 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"HEARTBREAKS HURT. BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S FOREVER. THIS IS HOW I GOT THROUGH IT. 'Hard feelings. These are what they call hard feelings of love.' - Lorde #1. This Will Never Stop Hurting The problem with heartbreak is that it is both\u00a0physically and emotionally painful.\u00a0 Physical\u00a0because crying literally hurts.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Health & Lifestyle"","img":{"alt_text":"Couple Holding Hand in Sunset","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/www.niesh.co.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Couple-Holding-Hand-in-Sunset.jpg?fit=1200%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4397,"url":"https:\/\/www.niesh.co.nz\/blog\/health-lifestyle\/christchurch-shootings-thoughts-a-prayer-tangible-ways-we-can-all-help\/","url_meta":{"origin":4505,"position":2},"title":"Christchurch Shootings: Thoughts, a Prayer & Tangible Ways We Can All Help","date":"May 25, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"THE DARKEST DAY IN NEW ZEALAND CALLS FOR MOURNING, BUT THERE ARE 5 TANGIBLE WAYS THAT WE CAN TRULY HELP. Just like with Grace \u2013 I remind myself,\u00a0write when nothing makes sense. 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You don't know exactly where you are going, who is going to be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Career & Upskill"","img":{"alt_text":"Group of students talking","src":"https:\/\/i2.wp.com\/www.niesh.co.nz\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Group-of-students-talking.jpg?fit=1200%2C500&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4352,"url":"https:\/\/www.niesh.co.nz\/blog\/health-lifestyle\/loneliness-101\/","url_meta":{"origin":4505,"position":4},"title":"Loneliness 101","date":"April 10, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"LONELINESS, DEFINED AS \u201cTHE FACT OF BEING WITHOUT COMPANIONS, SOLITARINESS\u201d. WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE LONELY IN 2019 AND IS IT OKAY? It's 2019, \u00a0here\u2019s a recap on social media in the last decade or two. 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