Winter is coming (or supposedly already here) and we are not impressed. The search for a cuddle buddy is on, but which dating app should you use?

Tinder and Bumble, two of the biggest dating apps right now. What are the differences and who holds the true crown?

Well, I have taken it upon myself to sort this out so you can dive head first to meet the many fishes in the sea. To rate them, I’ll be comparing:

1. Profile Design
2. Length of Conversation
3. Hotness Level
4. Meme Worthiness
5. Convenience
6. Racial Diversity

Readers discretion: all of this is based off a combination of my own experiences and what I’ve read or heard from others. It holds little factual basis. Everyone has their own cup of tea.

Brief Introduction

The mother of dating apps. An app designed for a LIT night. Filled with users looking for a good time, not a long time. If you were ever confused about what a basic bitch or fuckboy looked like, hop on Tinder and you’ll get to meet all the variations of them.

Ever had the birds and bees talk with your parents? Bumble reminds me of those innocent days but in dating app form. Here, women take the first step in making conversation for a start! Users provide detailed information on what they’re looking for and their values (political, religious). I envision the Ed Sheerans, Peter Parkers and “Girl Next Door” people on this app.

1: Profile Design

Tinder 3/5

The standard options are on both apps, however Tinder lets you add up to 9 photos and has the option of uploading short “Boomerang-like” clips instead. They also have the news feed option, where you are able to see profile updates from your matches. Personally, I find this to be a bit creepy, but I guess it’s a great way to know if someone is still active and on the prowl!

Bumble 4.5/5

You get all the standard options and are only able to upload six photos.Added features include adding pets, height, interests, habits, religious, political and social values. I mean, there is the stereotypical belief that people who are taller OR have pets tend to appear more attractive.

2: Length of Conversation

Tinder “dtf?” 3/5

In all honesty, there is quite a variety in conversation lengths. I’ve personally had some pretty entertaining, long conversations on Tinder and extremely short-lived ones too. You can usually weed out the potential “dtf” ones because their bio’s tend to have something along the lines of “here for a good time, not a long time” or just a blank space.

Bumble “insert conversation starter here“ 5/5

Only girls are able to make the first move and Bumble provides options of conversation starters; thank you Bumble, they are a godsend. Similar to Tinder, conversation lengths are pretty varied, although when they happen it is relatively quick. A result of the 24 hour time limit!

I never realised how much anxiety a red circle around a picture could cause me (and apparently guys on the app). That’s right ladies, they know when you’ve matched with them. Poor guys get to watch as time passes and they get no messages.

3: Hotness Level

I find that the same people will post different pictures on Tinder vs Bumble. The hotness scale rating is based on said pictures, not the people themselves.

Tinder 4/5

Better known for being the hookup app, people seem to post their more mainstream and basic photos here. There are the IG models in bikinis with profiles that say, “not on here much, follow me on IG: @influencer”, topless pictures of guys at the beach subtly (or not so) flexing with “add me on snap: thenextchad” in their bios. There is no doubt that there are many attractive profiles on Tinder that are *drumroll please* CATFISHES!

Bumble 3.5/5

There are fewer topless and bikini pics, replaced with happy smiles after doing something adventurous. Maybe it’s the happy yellow coloured background, but I find that people really try to make their Bumble profiles as approachable and genuine as possible. In fact, I might look at a guy on Bumble and think this is someone I could definitely have good yarns with; then find out he’s got a pretty fit body on Tinder.

4: Meme Worthiness

Tinder 5/5

I have spent many hours scrolling through r/Tinder and have no regrets! If you’re ever in need of a study break, I highly recommend. There are memes on conversations and bios. It’s pretty funny seeing people attempt cheesy pickup lines and dad jokes. Better yet? It’s cool to see them actually work.

Bumble 3/5

The memes from conversations on Bumble can be occasionally found on r/Tinder. The subreddit r/Bumble seems to be a little more serious with people talking about their experiences and asking for advice. Don’t worry though, there are still quality memes to be found there! A few of them being the standard conversation starters that girls can opt for on Bumble.

5: Convenience

Tinder 5/5

Their web version even comes with a “work mode”!

Bumble 3/5

Bumble also offers a web version but it doesn’t have the stealthy work mode that Tinder offers. I’m assuming their adorably shy target market wouldn’t really use this at work anyway?

6: Racial Diversity

Tinder 3.5/5

You can find every race in Auckland on this app. There are predominantly Caucasian and Brown users, but more Asians and Pasifika people are starting to use the app. Or is it just me?

Bumble 4/5

There seems to be a balanced ratio of Caucasians, Asians, Brown and Pasifika.

Disclaimer: I do not have anything against / for the races. It is merely an observation and would love to know if that’s just the algorithm feed for me.

Final Score

Tinder :  23.5 / 30

Bumble: 23 / 30

There you have it! Tinder wins by just 0.5 points. In all seriousness though, you do you. If you have found that you are having more like on Bumble then maybe that’s where your type of guys/girls are active on.

Other cool dating apps:

Her: A dating app for females who are into other females. Very LBTQ friendly.

Grindr: Men looking for other men. Very GBTQ friendly. 

Happn: Where you find people based on geo-location, as in people who you are most likely to “happen upon”. Also dubbed the most “stalkerish” by The Hits.

Coffee Meets Bagel: You get a limited amount of opportunities each day and the profiles are extremely detailed

What have your experiences been like on dating apps?. Were they similar, completely different or maybe you’re wanting to try it out. I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

Here’s some exam good luck from magic cat.

Congratulations and welcome back to Hell. From now until exam season, you will test your limits physically, mentally and emotionally. Don’t worry though, the whole student body is with you, including me.

How I Survive When It Comes To:

1. Referencing
2. Coding
3. Sleep Deprivation

1: Referencing

Ever heard of writer’s block? You’re going to face writer’s great wall of China.

If your assignments are referencing intensive, find a reference manager and learn how to use it! It will save you so much time, and maybe, you’ll be able to catch up on some sleep. Here are the ones that I recommend:

• Quick cite (FREE) – The University of Auckland’s quick reference guide (anyone can access this)
• Bibme (FREE for 3 Days) – If your essays are due tomorrow and you don’t have time or energy to check your assignment. This will help you add citations and even suggest 20 grammatical changes.
• Mendeley (FREE) – Imagine Adobe Acrobat Pro specially designed for dealing with journal articles. That’s Mendeley; you’re able to read, highlight, make notes, download in-text citations and reference lists from chosen articles.
• RefWorks (Free with UoA e-mail) – If you’re starting assignments early, I highly recommend using RefWorks for your entire research process. Here’s a quick guide on how to use it.

Pro tips:

1. Download the in-text citation tool for Chrome (for Mendeley), you’ll never have to manually download articles again, and it does all citations for you.
2. Word Doc’s synonym feature will become your best friend.

2: Coding

If you’re doing Stats, Compsci and any other coding related courses at UoA, the Compsci and Stats labs in 303 are VERY helpful. In fact, I would recommend doing your assignments there, or at assistance rooms. You’ll meet other kindred souls and assignments will be done faster and with more confidence.

3: Sleep Deprivation

Have you ever gone to sleep tired, woke up more exhausted, and had to have a constant stream of coffee and energy drinks flowing through your veins to function? Here are some tips that may just help with that.

• Work on achieving 7 to 8 hours of sleep, or as close as you can get – Follow this blog on ‘How to Get MORE SLEEP‘ for top tips on the do’s and don’ts of sleeping. Including how to survive in emergencies where you haven’t slept in 3 days.
• Use this Loophole with REM sleep Cycles – each REM cycle takes around 90 minutes to complete. If you need to sleep less, wake up at the end of a cycle rather than in the middle. This will cheat your body into thinking it’s fine with sleeping less cycles (Word of Caution: Do not use this in the long-term. It will shorten your life span).

Use these apps:

• Sleep Time (Apple and Android), my personal favourite.
• Sleep Cycle (Apple and Android).

Still feeling like this?

or this:

Additional Things To Increase Survival Chances

1. Find a “time out” activity: Find something you can do that will take your mind of life for a bit. A common one is going to the gym or watching a Youtube video.
2. Treat yourself:  A nice meal can do wonders for you. Luckily, you won’t have to break the bank with budget-friendly recommendations and deals, courtesy of the Niesh app (Apple and Android) and Auckland Coupon Guru blog posts.
3. Find your designated support group: Misery loves company, and company motivates and reminds you why you’re still choosing to torture yourself. These 6 weeks will strengthen the bonds you have like no other.
4. If all else fails, remember student perks!

As always, if you found anything here helpful, have more tips to share and/or even have a topic idea, feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]

Thanks for reading all the way, as a token of my appreciation. Enjoy these relatable memes on being students: 

It’s 2019,  here’s a recap on social media in the last decade or two.

Facebook was created in 2004, Youtube in 2005, Snapchat and Instagram almost ten years ago! Oh yea, remember Vine? Created in 2012 then shut down in 2017.

I bet you’re thinking, “ I’m not dependent, I could totally live without social media.”

How many minutes do you spend on social media while, 

• Waiting for the bus
• Waiting for class to start
• Waiting for friends
• At a cafe, waiting for your meal
• Chilling with friends
• In-between studying

These platforms were only created a decade or two ago. Crazy to think about how dependent we are on them right?

What is Loneliness?

Fear of Missing Out

Oxford Dictionaries defines “FOMO” as “anxiety that an exciting or interesting event may currently be happening elsewhere, often aroused by posts seen on social media”

Every flick of the finger on social media produces a whole new stream of posts and images.

Snapshots of your dream life.

That’s when loneliness seems to start creeping in; a wave of FOMO crashes over us.

Now we’re swiping on Tinder, going on Instagram and Snapchat. We’re hoping for a fix, alternatives to fill that empty hole in our chest – getting those matches and likes that feel so good.

How can we not feel left out? Watching people live their best lives, while we sit on a bench scuffing down lunch before rushing to our next meeting, class or tutorial. These little actions we take accumulate and feed into our insecurities. It keeps us going in the vicious cycle, making us feel lonelier and less satisfied with our own company.

We get to a point that we fear missing out so much, we can no longer stand being by ourselves.

Why Do You Feel Lonely?

1: Social Media

Ever heard of Dunbar’s Number? It’s a theory that humans are able to have 150 meaningful connections at any given moment. The average number of Facebook friends users have are 338 connections. Now, combine that with our new measures of friendships; Snapstreaks and Instagram likes. It’s no wonder, people are feeling less connected, lonelier, more depressed and anxious than ever.

2: The University Environment

Everyone goes through phases of loneliness in University. It’s just what happens as we shift from being in the same class, around the same people for five years, to being in different classes of hundreds each semester. Everyone’s busy trying to succeed, maybe even survive – taking up part-time jobs, internships, library seats. 

Somewhere in the midst of this rat race, we start to feel lonely.

What Should We Do?

1: Consider, are you happy?

We attach so many requirements to being happy, 

“I’ll be happy when I’ve finished university… I’ll be happy on a LIT night out… I’ll be happy travelling in Europe next semester…” 

You know how you always wish the best for your friends?

I wonder, have we ever stopped and really thought “I wish the best for myself?”.Have we ever considered what we want and what we need?

2: Analyse your loneliness

What kind of loneliness are you feeling? Why are you lonely? This article might help you identify which 7 types of loneliness YOU are feeling and what steps to take.

3: Ask yourself what YOU need

For example…

• When I needed social support, I reached out to a mate. One meaningful conversation kept me going.
• When I was itching for an adventure, I joined Auckland University Cricket Club. No regrets! 
• To get to know myself – I deleted Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat from my phone for two months.

4: Try out these steps to being alone. 

1. Be patient with yourself – It’s been a while since you’ve spend time on your own, so being alone might feel strange.
2. Start simple – Enjoy the organic “alone time” you already have – commutes, grabbing coffee, bathroom moments (if you’re so inclined). 
3. Step outside – When you’re ready, go for a walk, maybe even dine alone.
4. Challenge yourself – A walk was fine, now try something novel; a new town, a new activity.

Key Takeaway:

Being alone can be uncomfortable, but that’s because we’ve spent so little time with ourselves that being alone is like being stuck in a room with a stranger. It’s not something to “fix”, it’s something to enjoy! 

I Challenge You

Go back to the checklist at the top, choose ONE to “DETOX”. For example, no more looking at your phone at bus stops. 

Spend 10 minutes alone. No phone or computer.

How does that feel?

As always, I’d love to hear about your loneliness and any other topics you’d like to explore.

It’s that time of the semester again. General library gets pretty packed. Finding a computer to use on any level in Kate Edgar is near impossible. Money seems to mysteriously vanish from your bank account, replaced by much needed coffee and energy drinks. 

You wake up and ask yourself 

“Is this all worth it; feeling like a zombie from The Walking Dead?” while chugging back another can of V.

Hey, maybe you’re like me, struggling to get to the finish line. I remember wondering why it got more difficult every semester. Was it foreshadowing?  Was I just less motivated? Unlike me (I hope!), you managed to pull through.

Here’s a little backstory: I broke down. Several times. In fact, I lashed out on the people closest to me and just couldn’t seem to get it together. I kept thinking that I was being weak for not being able to pull through like the rest of my cohort. Eventually, loved ones suggested I go to counselling. I did -best decision ever. Through counselling, I realised that I had been suffering a burnout and had been denying it for a while.

What is Burnout? 

Well, according to Wiki (yea I know, but let’s be real, everyone uses it as a starting point), burnout can be defined as 

“occupational burnout resulting from long-term, unresolvable, job stress.“

Symptoms include

• Exhaustion
• Lack of motivation
• Frustration, cynicism, other negative emotions.
• Cognitive problems (inability to pay attention, maintain focus – may result in “tunnel vision”)
• Not taking care of self – (I know “We’re uni student, we don’t usually take care of ourselves”, well this is like a step further, e.g.  forgetting to eat, not sleeping, self-medication with pills, alcohol, too much coffee)
• Not being able to switch off- thinking about uni even when in your down time.

TL:DR – Being in a zombie state physically, mentally and emotionally. In the long run, you will eventually become a zombie.

Why does it occur?

It’s your body’s way of telling you that you currently do not have enough resources to meet all your demands. Essentially your body’s saying :

Imagine a rubber band that’s been stretched to its limits, now imagine trying to stretch it even more. It breaks or snaps back, hurting you in the process. That rubber band ‘IS a burned out individual’. When we keep pushing, we either break down, and/or end up hurting everyone around us in the process. Eventually, the rubber band permanently loses its elasticity and form.

In the long run, burn out can lead to a whole range of issues, such as heart diseases, digestive issues, depression, depreciating performance. 

How to Deal with Burnout

Here’s an amazing video by Thomas Frank to help:

His tips are:

1. Be willing to challenge yourself but acknowledge limitations – take on commitments only if you feel you can
2. Make sure systems are in working order (yes this means getting some rest, a little pro tip about this at the end)
3. Get organised – I struggle with this too

• It can be taking a day out of studying and doing other things like cleaning your room, going out for lunch
• Sorting out a flexible schedule and jotting down to-do’s, to-study per study session. I personally write a list of things I need to get through before starting each session. Then try to get as much done. Start with micro things such as “list important concepts”, “get study schedule done”, then move on to bigger things like, “listen to lecture recordings”. That way you build motivation as you go along.

4.  Take a break

• Schedule time to separate self from “work/study” life.
• Have a bunch of little breaks each day and each break should be spent doing something completely out and away from your study space. This can   include going for a walk, reading a book, having lunch, watching a movie at a cinema. 
• Have a “break day” every week or so. A day to rest, relax and do whatever you feel like, whenever. 

5.  Ask for help; let’s talk about it.

• Who you talk to is crucial. Talk to friends and loved ones, as long as they are supportive.
• University Health and Counselling Service. These people are MVPs. If you feel overwhelmed, schedule an appointment with the counselling service. Every student is entitled to 3 free sessions every semester (University of Auckland). They are also able to provide with you appropriate recommendations and may be able to help talk to university about supporting you, like messaging your lecturer to let them know you might not be able to make a deadline/ not being able to do well in a test and take that into consideration. 

My simple tips:

• Go for a walk – I remember cramming really hard for an essay and stressing out so much. My flatmate came home that day to see a circle of journal articles around me, while I stared blankly at the screen. He suggested we go for a walk, I said he was crazy. I only had a few hours left till the paper was due and I had writer’s block. We walked around for 3 hours, got coffee, talked about life and the weather. When I got back, my words just flowed.
• Tea Break – no studying until you’ve finished your tea. Tea is meant to be appreciated, I usually couple this with an episode or two of Buzzfeed Unsolved. Shout out to Ryan Bergara and Shane Madej. 

• Realise that grades aren’t everything. I got my first internship with subpar grades. I asked them why they accepted me with those grades and they told me they didn’t look at my grades. It was my experience and passion for the company they liked.

Good luck with exams <3

P/S: Want to to share your story? Have a topic you want me to write about? Flick me a message at [email protected]. Always keen for a chat!